Excuse This Obtrusion

Dick: Since we are right in the middle of 2 of the major 4 sports' playoff seasons, I have to ask: is the 7 game format really that much better than a single-game elimination process?
The NFL is the only major league to support this type of system, and the last time I checked it, the NFL was the most popular sport in the country...
The biggest argument for a best-of-7 series is that it truly allows the cream to rise to the top, but I'm not buying that.

Pralines: I'm not going to knock the NFL because I love it, but at the same time I feel after watching both NBA and NHL playoffs that a series is better because it undoubtedly gives you the better team overall, not just the better team that night/half/quarter.
What the NFL really has going for it compared to the other sports is the length of the season. It's so much shorter compared to, oh, let's just say Major League Baseball, whose regular season is 162 games.

D: And that's the main argument, but it's hard to say that's the case. For instance, if a game 7 goes to overtime, and the game/series is divided by 1 point or so, did the best team really win? Some series are just clearly mismatched, hence the 4 game sweeps. I just think that more people would be interested in the playoffs if they were all one shot, one kill setups.
MLB plays 162 games, NBA plays 82, NHL plays 82 also, and the NFL drags up the rear at 16. One could also say that NCAA football and basketball are major sports in America, and they both feature one-game playoff systems, although each is vastly different.

P: I agree with that point because all one game elimination games are at least exciting for a bit. But a four game sweep of the Lakers over the Nuggets in the 1st round is just unnecessary and boring.

D: Right, there will always be an overmatched and overwhelmed team being completely embarrassed by a superior opponent, but why not spice things up? Why not give the George Masons of the world at all levels a chance to live the dream?

P: I think the system that best utilizes the one game elimination playoffs is the NCAA basketball tournament. They've got that shit worked out to a science and it always does well because it's exciting for people who follow absolutely none of the regular season.

D: It stands to reason that American companies lose 9 billion dollars in profit during the opening weekend of March Madness. If that system were to be transferred over to the big leagues, I think it might pay off in the form of both excitement and revenue.
The 2005 Steelers and 2007 Giants (and it pains me to say it, but probably the 2006 Colts too) have Super Bowl rings because they got hot at the right time, and they beat superior opponents on the way to the summit.
If the NBA had a one game playoff, the 76ers would have advanced to the second round after their upset of Detroit in the first game. Now that would make a lot of people happy, wouldn't it?

P: Oh absolutely. The big drawback to these long series is the waiting. Waiting for a good matchup. Waiting for a team to be playing for its season. Now we're sort of being nitpicky here with established systems of playoffs. But I think the real issue is with the BCS. I'm venturing into your wheelhouse here so forgive me, but the main argument schools and conferences have against getting rid of the BCS and switching to some kind of legitimate championship round of playoffs is money. Sponsors want bowls to stick their names on, but, and maybe I'm just being naive, but I think a tournament of some kind would make way more money than bowls ever would. I'd be way more pumped up (and feel like far less of a douche) if I tell people I'm watching the semi-finals of the NCAA championship than the PapaJohns.com Bowl.

D: I've been waiting for this topic to present itself. The BCS is the worst thing to ever happen to college football. Worse than a senile Lou Holtz picking Notre Dame to win every week, even when they play a loaded USC team with Evan Sharpley at the helm...but I digress. There are 32 bowl games, with talk of more being added very soon. That means any team that manages to win 6 of 12 games can play a bowl. Why? So Myles Brand and the NCAA fat cats can line their pockets a little more. Fret not, though, as I have developed a way to fix NCAA football.

P: Guide me, oh seer of seers. I'll beer myself while you're typing.

D: Instead of 12 games, go back to 11. This way teams will either have a winning record, or they won't. No more .500 teams being eligible for post-season play. Divide every conference up into divisions, and make every conference play a championship game. The conference chairmen have too much control over the NCAA, and the quality of the game is suffering because of it. Case in point: Illinois was invited to the Rose Bowl last year to be embarrassed by the Men of Troy because the Big (11) Ten and Pac-10 refused to break tradition and invite a more worthy Missouri or Virginia Tech team to play against USC.
Furthermore, since the NCAA will never turn their back on the tons of sponsors they've accrued over the years through bowl payouts, I propose a compromise. Since every conference is now playing a title game and only 2 teams from each conference will be playing 12 games while the rest play 11, take a week off after conference games, and then begin the playoff system. The playoff games will be held in former bowl venues. So instead of watching the Sheraton Hawaii Bowl, you're watching (1) Ohio State versus (8) Nevada in the first round game, being held in Honolulu. Sheraton still gets the sponsorship deal, but it becomes a playoff system instead of a meaningless bowl.

P: It just warms my heart to know that those numbers next to a college football's team name might actually mean something.

D: This will go on all the way up to the current BCS bowls, which will become the football counterpart of the Final Four. The only glaring problem with this idea is that some teams (like the Buckeyes, of course) would end up playing 16 games or so before the end of the season. Granted, the NFL plays 20+ including pre and post seasons, but football is an NFL player's only job. He doesn't also have to worry about taking a Spanish final while breaking down tape of his next opponent’s blitz-heavy defense.
Keep in mind, my Praliney chum, that those are seeds divided by region. 4 regions, 8 seeds, no computers. Let the teams decide who wins. It's only fair.

P: I mean, that does make sense, doesn't it? A team goes as far as its play allows it to? Not as far as a computer says it can.
And I understand that for now anyway people will be scared it doesn't make financial sense, but does capitalism have to be so rampant as to have the major sports in our country in a chokehold?
But I digress.

D: I just think there is a way for old-fashioned college football fans to be happy, corporate sponsors to be happy, and NCAA wise men to be happy.
Sports are supposed to make people happy, aren't they?

P: Last time I checked the dictionary, my name's Pralines, and I'm all about having fun. Or being a cookie-sized candy made of brown sugar and butter and pecans. I always get those confused.

D: Tomato, tomahto.
On a related playoffs note: was it at all wise for Washington's players and fans to antagonize LeBron James? Methinks no.

P: Well, it was a good call if they wanted to get out of the playoffs in the first round and have to go through another offseason of doubt as Agent Zero sat out the final game of the series with a knee injury. You know, the same one that made him sit out most of the year? Yeah, but I wouldn't worry about drama coming from Gilbert Arenas in the offseason if I were the Wizards. I mean, he's a pretty level-headed, quiet, even-tempered, non-confrontist type of person. Oh wait...nevermind.

D: It would be easy for me to sit here on my couch and call LeBron a cry baby and say he's over-rated. It would be stupid, but it would be easy. However, if I were Brendan Haywood or DeShawn Stevenson, you know--guys that actually have to try to stop LeBron, I would keep my mouth shut. He is one of the most gifted athletes the world has ever seen, and he has a history of quieting his nay-sayers. It's like that old saying, "Don't poke the bear." LeBron is very clearly a bear, and now the Wizards are mauled carcasses in the deep woods somewhere. Smart thinking, guys.

P: The NBA needs to do something about getting rid of these also-ran teams in the playoffs. All I hear is how the Western Conference is loaded and the Eastern Conference gargles the West's balls, but last time I checked, the Nuggets got swept out and the Mavericks got booted as well, both perennial playoff teams in the west. Meanwhile, the Atlanta Freakin' Hawks went 7 games against the BEST team in the league in Bahston.

D: JAGER BAHMBS!*

P: Go Sawx! Nomaaaaaah!

D: I have to admit that the West looks better on paper, simply because all 8 teams won at least 50 games. The East...well, Atlanta got in with 35 wins. This has been the case for a few years, so it's understandable why the East is starting to look like the red-headed stepchild of the NBA. While the East isn't lacking in star power, it always seems to take a back seat to the West. Is this another case ESPN-led East Coast bias? Oh, wait...

P: Well Dick, we've had a few laughs and even managed to offer a sound suggestion to fix the playoff debacle that is the BCS. I'll like to congratulate you on your offer of logical advice, and myself for having 3 (count em'...un, deux trois!) beers while writing this, only our second blog.

D: Congratulations, Pralines. Were they imported Mexican beers in late honor of Cinco de Mayo?

P: Alas, my dear Dick, they were but Michelob. However, I did celebrate early on Sunday with cheap margaritas.

D: Good call. I made a late run to Marsh last night to pick up some Bud Light Lime, a bag of limes, and a bottle of $4 champagne, because after all, nothing is more Mexican than champagne.

P: I enjoyed my margaritas at El Mezquite, THE Mexican restaurant in North Manchester, IN. No, really. It's the only one there.

D: Is Manchester in northern or southern Indiana?

P: Northern. Near Fort Wayne.

D: Good to know. So shall we wrap this up?
(That's what she said)

P: Hey-O! Yeah I think we've said as much as we can on the subject without becoming redundant. Or something like that. I can't read or write. (Pralines is a proud graduate of Beech Grove High School).

D: And you know what the worst part of all is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ!**

P: Is that true?***

D: Yes. Everything but the reading part.****



*Not now, Chief. I’m in the fuckin zone.

**Oscar Clip

***Oscar the Grouch

****My bologna has a first name, it’s O-S-C-A-R.